Waiting to heal, waiting to ride, waiting for the snow to melt, waiting for my trainer to get back to work, waiting in waiting rooms, waiting for inspiration. waiting for phone calls…

Quite frankly I am tired of waiting!  I kind of want it NOW, the healing, the riding, spring!  A couple of weekends ago I sat in my kitchen with my iPad looking at Pinterest, pinning rider fitness pins, healthy recipes and weight loss ideas while eating a Pop Tart!!  Something is drastically wrong with that picture!  Someone needs to focus!  January is finally over (almost) and hopefully I can get back on track.  Do some of those exercises, try some of those recipes.

I have the show schedule for our barn for 2016,  longingly looking at out of town shows that I won’t be able to swing.  So that is the thing about showing right?  It gets under your skin.  I see a living quarters horse trailer going through Albuquerque and I just want to go wherever they are going!  I mean it has to be a horse show right?!  If I could I would be out every chance I could, every weekend, setting up a tack room, getting horses settled, warming up, socializing with fellow horse buds, not getting enough sleep, eating very unhealthy meals. But I must be practical!  Right now though the only thing I really want to do is start riding again on a regular basis and I know it will come so I pray for (among so many other things) patience.

While I am patiently waiting for a break in the weather, this might be a good time to look at those awesome videos that I have been collecting.  World Show winning showmanship goes, amazing horsemanship patterns, flawless trail goes.  Inspire yourselves!  look at them and visualize!  That is me flawless in my pattern!  That is my gorgeous mare just Born to be Fabulous!  That is my trainer on the sidelines. incredulous (in a good way)!

OK so this is it…winter is typically a time of rest, take the time to rest and to heal.  Even though  I have buried the events of January 4th they bubble up on occasion and cut me off at the knees.  The heart is resilient and the spirit is strong but there is no denying that sadness.

Until I can get back in the saddle and back to work and focus and redirect, I will do my best to be patient and to live in the now, enjoying every blessed moment.

The past couple of weeks have been so hard, the last of everything.  We had a monumental snow storm last weekend so the trip to haul Shonto to Matt’s clinic had to be postponed.  Thankfully today was bright and sunny, the calm before the next set of storms.

The evenings have been so cold, down into the single digits, so I made my guy as comfortable as possible by getting out his winter blanket.  He never has had to be blanketed before, just shrugging off the cold like the tough guy that he was.  So winter blanket, warm bran mashes, lots of love and pets were the regime for the past few days.  I realized that I have no videos of him so shot one last weekend of him bucking and rearing in the fresh fallen snow!

This morning we loaded him up and drove him down to Albuquerque.  I will go back down tomorrow so he is not alone when he leaves this world.  It will be the hardest thing that I have faced in a very long time.  I wish he could just be buried on the property alongside Jaima but the reality is that it is just not feasible.   I will cut some tail hair and get something made from it.  His tail is black and white.  I will also cut some of the mane hair since that is sorrel.   It is a last attempt to keep him with me, momentos made of his hair.  There has to be some sort of ceremony.  I found a heart locket and cut a lock of my hair to put in it.  tomorrow I will braid it into his mane, as he will be in my heart forever, I will also be with him and in his.

more sadness tomorrow and the beginning of the healing.